Why did I call this thing "flyansett"...?

Humble.

2008-07-17T20:29:00.000+10:00

Towards the end of 2007, I had an increased sense that this year was going to be a year of release, blessing & hope (especially compared to the darkness that seemed to pervade my life in 2007). To an extent, it has been - there has been some pretty significant doors that have opened this year, and doors that are still opening.

However, it seems that these doors have only opened as I've been humbled (both voluntary, and forced upon me). It seems that this year many things have gone wrong and not according to plan.

Projects that I've been involved with have either crashed & burned (and myself getting burnt with it), or are struggling to go anywhere. On a number of occasions, I've let some good people down. Thing's I'd hoped to accomplish are still on the 'to do' list. At the very least, it’s been embarrassing & frustrating. Increasingly, though, it’s becoming quite painful to deal with this failure, especially with a perfectionist personality such as my own.

Over the past few years, I’ve been getting more & more, to a point it was making me delusional. I became deceived as my dependence upon my own strength & wisdom overtook a conscious decision be in awe of God, and to trust in the power of His might. In my mind I had inflated my view of my skills, knowledge, wisdom, capabilities, character & strength.

As I look back over my behaviour, conduct & thinking over the past few years, I cringe at how much I’ve been deceived about myself.

As this realisation has been growing in my mind, the more it has hurt and has been humbling. I'm still working through it - sometimes wanting to gloss over the realisations that I’ve been having. Sometimes I've been dealing with it by isolating myself from people, too embarrassed to relate to them (especially if it involves people I’ve let down or have felt I’ve been acting proud around).

The real downer about pride is also that by neglecting to put my trust in God, I really lost my source of hope (and I suspect this led to my bout of depression last year). Instead of crying out to God, I trusted in a crumbling tower of imaginary strength.

One of the big deceptions that I swallowed was that to be free of weakness & bondage, we have to deal with the issue ourselves…in our own strength. There is a part truth in that (we do need to take responsibility for where we are at), but there is also a strong lie there too (we need to ask God to heal us, not we use our own wisdom to bring healing). I have been battling a number of burdens through-out my life – intimidation, fear, an inability to be close to people, and other issues. On many occasions, I’ve felt these issues have caused a “failure to launch” in my life, with many opportunities & potential joys in my life thwarted. There is a desire in my heart to be free from these things, but as swallowed this lie about how to be free, I became convinced that I would have to change myself, instead of letting God’s grace work in my life.

I deceived myself thinking that been puffed-up was the same as been ‘built-up’. I was trying to convince myself that I was strong, in-charge and alive. I’ve been inspired (maybe jealous?) by the intelligence & skills of a number of managers I’ve witnessed in the past few years, and for all intents & purposes, I wanted to be like them. But the weaknesses in my life prevented me from ‘attaining that level’, and I suspect it was from there that I started getting puffed up (something which is hard to resist when you work in a knowledge-intensive industry – Paul reminds us that “knowledge puffs up, but love builds up”).

One of the ways 2008 has been a blessing has been the way God has sovereignly & gracefully been ‘unwrapping’ the deception off my life. On a number of occasions, His light has been shining through, and His truth has been breaking the shackles. This has partly been through painful, pride-induced mistakes I’ve made. But it has also been through truths that He has been placing my way in recent months. One was from my mum, who said that the way we become strong & break free is by pressing into God. It took 3 seconds for mum to say that, but it’s been driving me for the past 6 months to get closer to God, to press-in, and to trust Him. It came as a significant relief to hear that – no more striving required!

The second was one Sunday I was listening to a speaker from Teen Challenge – the word he spoke seemed to break something significant in my heart. About a week before, I had again let down someone, and the pain was rather crippling. I think he was talking about the spirit of adoption – how God has adopted us as His own children. I cant remember it all, except the great sense of liberty & freedom. Interestingly, this freedom came as I gained a revelation about been a child – innocent, unassuming & humble.

Whilst I was having that revelation, I also began to see God has been good! I’ve had depression twice, and on both occasions I’ve noticed that I had the perception that God was cruel & harsh – that I had to perform to achieve His grace, that I had to be strictly obedient, or else He was going to crucify me on the spot!

[I should clarify something: obedience is vital. What I’m referring to is a willing heart, but where fears or other bondage become so daunting that I’m unable to function. An example in year 12, before I got depression for the first time, was I thought God wanted me to talk with a Christian at school about a prayer meeting we had been holding. I had an incorrect sense that God would punish me if I didn’t do that! But at the same time I was suffering very poor self-esteem – and as such I felt myself under such a burden of condemnation because I couldn’t achieve what I thought God was asking me to do. I think God wanted me to chat with this person, but it was NOT of Him that I felt a sense of condemnation. As such, God has been healing me of poor self-esteem to the point I’m now confident talking with CEOs and the like. But it was a progressive healing – it took time, and many hours of crying out that God would heal me.]

In April this year I felt depression was coming my way again, but it was soon after I saw God with clearer eyes, that he wasn’t harsh, and indeed exceptionally loving. The root of depression didn’t hold on for long, and as such I have not suffered from it much this year. That’s not to say I haven’t been grieved – I have been, and still am. In fact the grief seems to be growing rather than anything else, but I suspect its probably a good thing overall – much like a grieving process allows people to come through the loss of a loved one, I think this is a way of acknowledging my wrong, but coming through and fully trusting God.

The History of Work ... & Redemption

2007-11-06T11:02:00.000+11:00

A friend of mine recently blogged about "meaning" in our working lives. Rather than post a massive comment, I thought I would post a blog instead ;)

Its interesting that "Generation Y" (generally those born after 1980) are recognised as have far different working values than "Gen X" and the "baby boomers". These include having little 'company loyalty' for life, and are quite altruistic, with a desire for real meaning in their paid work.

What is even more interesting, is how this whole concept of work-with-purpose ties into the history of the world, and redemption through Jesus Christ.

Paul makes a very politically-incorrect statement in 2 Thess 3:10! "If anyone will not work, neither shall he eat". This actually links right back to the fall of mankind.

In the Garden of Eden, all required food was brought forth for Adam & Eve to enjoy without toil. However, after the fall, God effectively says that the only way man-kind will eat is by hard-toil.

Just imagine for a moment, however, Adam and his descendants. Initially, they probably were all farming themselves – tending flocks, tilling the ground, and probably at night trying to prepare enough shelter.

However, after a while, someone probably said something like “I will build you a dwelling/house, in exchange for a given amount of food”.

If you think about it, this is the foundation of the global economy! EVERY person is having to work for food & shelter, or else perishing. Whether that be a professional working in a high-rise building, to an African tribe hunting for the whole day, trying to find food – everyone is, at the end of the day, doing the same thing.

However, when we are redeemed by Christ, are we are no longer simply working to exist? I believe that when we become Christ’s, EVERYTHING in our life comes into subjection to Him … and can be redeemed to be used for His Kingdom purposes.

Many Christians think that ‘to work for Christ’, however, means serving in a church organisation. WRONG! I suspect that there are A LOT of God’s people who are working in church-based organisations who are not in their God-given calling! Through-out history, God has placed His people in the system of the world to usher in God’s rule into given situations (eg, Joseph, Daniel, Esther, Paul). We are not to confuse being “set apart” as locking ourselves into a building – we are called to go into the world!

I might be controversial in saying that unfortunately, I think a number of churches have mixed up going into the world with bringing the world into the church. There’s a great saying: the ship in the sea is a useful thing; the sea in the ship is a problem.

What is your calling? What is your God-given mission for your short stay here on earth?

For some reason, Joel chapter 2 seems a way of summing up (these are versus 7, 8, 9):

They shall run like mighty men; they shall climb the wall like men of war; and they shall march every one on his ways, and they shall not break their ranks:
Neither shall one thrust another; they shall walk every one in his path: and when they fall upon the sword, they shall not be wounded.
They shall run to and fro in the city; they shall run upon the wall, they shall climb up upon the houses; they shall enter in at the windows like a thief.

Going for Gold

2007-10-17T00:01:00.000+10:00

Last Tuesday night I started playing indoor soccer.

Last Tuesday night it took me 15 minutes to get to the venue from home.

Last Tuesday night I played on the pitch for 15 minutes.

Last Tuesday night it took me 35 minutes to get home - I thought I was going to pass out on the way home from exhaustion (so I stopped at the shop, brought chocolate & had a power-nap... ).

Last Tuesday night, I'm not sure why I thought excess consumption of chocolate would some how calm me down...

This Tuesday (yesterday) I played for 25 minutes. It took 15min either way home.

I think I'm slowly getting fitter!

Write the vision

2007-09-26T18:47:00.000+10:00

"Write the vision
And make it plain on tablets,
That he may run who reads it.
For the vision is yet for an appointed time;
But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie.
Though it tarries, wait for it;
Because it will surely come,
It will not tarry."
-- Habakkuk 2: 2-3

For some time now (like, over a decade), I’ve had a vision in my heart about what I hope to achieve in life. It is not a cheap vision – we are talking a vision where hundreds of thousands of dollars are simply rounding errors.

Yet, for some time I have felt restricted and in bondage … unable to really move forward to achieve this vision, or even tackle some of the most basic things in life (eg, I have found fellowshipping with fellow believers a big struggle, among other people issues!) … but that is another story, and God is faithful and gradually setting me free. But I recently felt God place on my heart that He would not yet set me totally free, because I have neglected to do something He laid upon my heart a few years ago. That thing is writing my vision.

It’s interesting looking at that passage in Habakkuk – after the vision (which is also means ‘dream, revelation, sight, oracle’) has been written, then others can run with it. The word ‘run’ implies a sense of speed and haste, and even though it seems like it will take forever for the vision to come to past, when the time is right, it gushes forth!

Also interesting is the bit about other people reading it and running with it – one reason why it seems not much has happened towards achieving this vision is that I have communicated it with very few people. I’ve found from experience that trying to establish something on your own is next to impossible – it really takes a team to pioneer something. I found that when working on a grant application to run some science programs in school, it was a lot easier to work with someone on it, even though we had to spend more time communicating that I would if I was on my own. But I don’t think I would have put the application in if I didn’t have a partner in it.

But here is a question … how do we right the vision, when that dream is such a deep, deep thing in your heart? Unfortunately, you cant place a few probes on your heart and extract it with a computer – it has to be written and communicated out of your heart.

I’d be interested in your thoughts ;)

Are you creative?

2007-08-27T20:52:00.000+10:00

Over the past few years, I’ve slowly been having it going through my head, about the idea of innovation & creativity. It’s an odd topic, because as an engineer, I’m specifically trained to pick on arts-students, and anyone else who is ‘creatively-inclined’!

But I dob myself in, because I am also a musician (guitar – Classical, up to Grade 5) – and I’m thankful mum painfully insisted I do it, because I think it has made me a better engineer. Why? Because strangely enough, music and engineering are almost identical in their thinking processes (don’t quote me as a scientist – I didn’t have people’s brain-waves checked out!). Both music and engineering are governed by a number of fundamental principles & equations, yet they have to be applied in a creative way. There is no law of science that governs how they are used – its up to the uniqueness of individuals to work out how to that.

I’ve been thinking even more about creativity in the Bendigo and Australian context. You may have heard, Australia’s manufacturing operations face the threat of cheap imports, and what’s ‘worse’, the quality of items from China is improving in quality (Airbus has committed to a plan to assemble 150-seater jets – the A320 – in China, and they have been building passenger doors for their jets for years). How do we compete with this stuff? Simple. Don’t try to be the cheapest. Be something no-one can compete with – be your unique self (with your unique ideas too :) ).

But being creative seems to work against our fallen human nature. Ever noticed how obsessed we as a society are with conformity? My hairdresser the other day said “you can now wear 50s and 60s fashions now, and get away with it!” My question is – who decides what is in, and what’s out? We so often want to conform to the “accepted norm” (whatever that is) to be part of the fold.

I really believe that creativity is about leadership and boldness – a willingness to go into the ‘unknown’ and take risks. It’s a similar attitude to many of the early explorers. There is also the need for the ability to fly in the face of false-conformity – I say “false conformity” because we are not to oppose legitimate authority.

In-fact, creativity is probably the source of authority! Its interesting that Jesus is “the author and finisher (perfector)” of our faith (those who believe in & love Jesus). He is also the Supreme authority in the universe (this is not a question of what you believe – it’s a simple statement of fact, regardless of beliefs). He is also the Creator of the universe. And interesting that the first 6 letters of “authority” is the word “author”.

I strongly believe that the Church has a responsibility to ‘restore’ creativity to the place God originally intended (noticed how those who are called “creative” also exhibit much rebellion too?). And when I say ‘restore’, I also mean start to infect our cities with the creativity of Heaven. God’s invisible attributes are made clear by His creation (Romans 1: 20) – Could it be that we (The Church) need to start ushering in Godly creativity, even as part of a Holy Spirit-driven proclamation of the Gospel?

God is totally creative! Checkout the universe He made from nothing! And so perfectly too! Been made in His image, I believe man-kind has been called to be creative, but sin has stifled that (and has created conformity to this world). Looking at the Word of God, it would seem to indicate that it’s the Holy Spirit that is required to bring about that restoration in our own lives (checkout Ex 35: 30-35 and Romans 12:2).

I believe when we start living in the creativity that God intended, it will bring much blessing, even into our cities – and which will cause God to be proclaimed therein.

And I’d be interested in your thoughts – because I’m still developing mine in this area :)

God bless in Jesus name.

Returning to blogging...and to this city

2007-07-29T17:20:00.000+10:00

Some may have noticed the lack of bloggerisation on this site. There is a good reason for that - I dont like this platform! I just started writing a large blog (about the first one ever...) and then I lost it all when Explorer went belly-up! And that's the second time that has happened to me (back in December last year - same thing). Grrrr...!

But I am going to try and contain this frustration (and ensure my fist does not 'make uncontrolled contact with this computer display' ... hehe). I want to use this blog for a purpose now (but I will have to hit Save a bit more now!).

For some time now I've been wanting to express my thoughts on a number of 'societal' issues (read "Kingdom issues"!). I believe God has placed a number of things in my heart with regards to Government, Community & Economic Development, transport infrastructure, business, defence, the role of The Church - and how all these apply to the Kingdom of God. I've been wanting to express my vision publically for some time now, and I feel this portal (as incompetent as it is!) is the way to help get stuff off my chest.

Today I was thinking about why people leave regions like Bendigo to head to 'the big city' (such as Melbourne). Why do particularly young people disengage from cities such as this and perceive them to have little opportunities. Here are some thoughts...

We all seem to have an innate desire to be apart of something bigger than ourselves. And I think we also have a desire to sometimes get lost in it! I believe its a human longing God placed in people so they would desire Him and His Majestic Kingdom (perhaps a tangent for another blog another time!).

Here's an example: I remember as a kid going to Melbourne airport, and perceiving the place as been soooooooo HUGE!!! I loved it and was totally excited by been there – I wanted to explore, and thought I could be there for days on end looking around. However, having been there this week, its now more of a headache trying to wheel bags into the terminal and making sure I both check in and get to the gate on-time. The excitement has been lost because I’m now very familiar with it all.

I suspect the nature of large cities (eg, over 1 million people) give young people a perceived opportunity to reignite that passion to explore– been lost in the large city crowd can be an exciting adventure to discover news things. I think this is one reason why many young adults have a keen desire to travel.

The idea of seeing ‘big cities’ having more opportunities that ‘regional areas’ (I will explain these differences in a later blog) is probably just that – “seeing”, or perception. Simply seeing so many people in the one physical location (for example, Bourke St Mall in Melb) seems to trigger in people the idea that there is so many more opportunities to interact, do something new, and make a positive change in some way. More people means more resources to do things, and more experiences to be had. I think experiences is a key word – have you noticed how ‘night-life’-type music seems to trigger experiences and ideas of cities of large amounts of people? I’m listening to that type of music right now, and I’m having ‘feelings’ for been caught up in the ‘buzz of a large city’.

That all said, I would like to overlay these perceptions with some other observations.

I suspect that there are more opportunities in places like Bendigo. Although it doesn’t seem like it (due to the seemingly lack of people), there is more opportunities to impact an entire region through cities like Bendigo – something I feel I’m on the path to doing through initiatives like the Bendigo +25 – I will again describe in subsequent blogs.

There seems to be less opportunities to ‘explore’ (ie, look around physical locations, and meet interesting people) in a place like Bendigo. However, I believe that the sense of community in such a location offers the opportunity to be connected and actually checkout some very interesting places and people indeed – opportunities you wouldn’t have in a larger city. Even if the ‘smorgasbord’ isn’t there (perhaps another young-persons driver – choice), I believe that if people are engaged to discover things together, that sense of ‘nothingness’ can be overcome.

I also suspect that a setup of ‘satellite communities’ may also be a key – places like Newcastle for example. The Hunter has a population of about 600000 people, yet Newcastle (‘the capital of the Hunter’) only has about 200000. Yet there is a sense of something ‘big’ in the region because of the surrounding districts like Macquarie Lakes.

I guess in summing up – ultimately that ‘void’ in people’s hearts can only be filled with the riches of God’s Kingdom. The Word of God says that He goes from “glory to glory” – a continual newness & discovery, something I think we all are seeking.

Yuck Speak

2007-05-27T23:12:00.000+10:00

Knowledge Integration Unit= Book
"Future Combat System is an Army networked system of systems that serves as the core building block within all Objective Force manoeuvre units of action to enhance advanced joint and coalition warfighting capabilities to provide options for decisive victory to our nation" = radio equipped tank
Payload accommodation manager customer affairs = check-in staff
75,000 square foot, three-bay, multi-functional, corrosion control facility = paint shed

Test article deformed excessively = broke
Deployable hybrid integrated shelter solution = tent
We are reviewing best practices = stealing
Extravehicular Activity Mobility Unit = space suit
We’re essentially talking here about a de-massification of prosumers" = job cuts
"The Federal Office for Civil Aviation should verify that all pilots in possession of Swiss pilot licences with an instrument rating have the necessary basic knowledge concerning actual instrument flight procedures and PANS-Ops (procedures for air navigation services)" = can you fly?
Lehman's De Munro named compliance person of the year = yes man
Complete traceability solution for the development of safety critical applications = check list
'spontaneous energetic disassembly' = explosion
permanently immobilize = kill
area denial munitions = landmines
facilities management coordinator = toilet cleaner
garden leverage utensil = shovel
"The plane made uncontrolled contact with the ground" = it crashed
pilot-selected canopy shatter control = a hammer

Welcome to the planet Mars...

2007-03-30T23:45:00.000+10:00

Yesterday I went to Mars.

Don't believe me...? Then take a look yourself at some of the photo's I took...

Yep - I was there myself ... well, at the Victorian Space Science Education Centre (checkout www.vssec.vic.edu.au). Lotsa fun!

Welcome to Adelaide

2007-02-21T21:21:00.000+11:00

Between Thurs 8 Feb and Tues 13 Feb, Rob, Chuck and myself ventured to Adelaide! It was an interesting experience. Here are the highlights:

1. WATER? GREEN GRASS?

One of the weirdest things we encountered there was ... green grass and water! Yes, SA is in water-restrictions, but most of the fountains and stuff were still flowing. It was really quite weird...

2. THE BEACH!

Every full day we were there we headed to the Glenelg beach - a fantastic place! 30min from the city by tram which pulls into a fantasic civic square with resturants, shops and mini-golf ;) We even saw dolphins

3. HMMM

Another odd thing we found at the Botanical Gardens...

Does "Museum of Economic Botany" have something to do with money-trees...?

A coincidence...?

2007-02-01T13:44:00.000+11:00

On July 8, 1947, witnesses claim a spaceship with five aliens aboard crashed on a sheep-and-cattle ranch outside Roswell New Mexico, an incident they say has been covered up by the military.

On March 31, 1948, exactly nine months after that day, Al Gore was born.

A coincidence? Maybe not...

Mine?

2007-01-29T22:10:00.000+11:00

Once there was a married couple. The husband was in a room, looking around for something.

His wife entered the room and said "why is it that you always call everything yours - like 'my house', or 'my car' or 'my TV'. We are in a partnership - we are supposed to share. Its 'ours' not 'mine'".

The husband kept looking around as if his wife had said nothing. She then asked him "so what are you looking for?"

"Our pants" said the husband.

For those who understand...

2007-01-23T21:54:00.000+11:00

mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine 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Allegedly real courtroom questions and witness statements

2006-11-13T18:02:00.000+11:00

allegedly real courtroom questions and witness statements
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
----------------------------------------------
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
------------------------------------
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
--------------------------------------------
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
--------------------------------------------
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
---------------------------------------------
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
--------------------------------------------
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
------------------------------------------
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
-----------------------------------------
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
-----------------------------------------
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
-------------------------------------------
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
------------------------------------------
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
--------------------------------------------
Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
-------------------------------------------
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
---------------------------------------------
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk, in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, never the less?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere.

my blog for novemer

2006-11-07T20:03:00.000+11:00

well, I'm sure you can tell things are at a point where I procrustinate to the point of having to blog about it!

I think I have become a champion in Solitare, and have probably now exceeded enough 'flying' hours in Flight Sim to be a chief pilot in an airline.

Thesis is due by Friday ... its almost done, but it is always the 'almost stage' that is one of the hardest. Finishing what you start is so difficult!

Anyway, a nice little story for you:

Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy a ticket and watch as the three engineers only buy one ticket.
"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an accountant.
"Watch and you'll see," answered an engineer.
They all board the train. The accountants take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a rest room and close the door behind them.
Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Tickets, please!" The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
The accountants see this and agree it is a clever idea. So after the conference, the accountants decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money.
When they get to the station, they buy one ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the engineers don't buy a ticket at all.
"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed accountant.
"Watch and you'll see," answered an engineer.
When they board the train all three accountants cram into a restroom and the three engineers cram into another one nearby. The train departs.
Shortly afterward, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the accountants are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Tickets, please!"

Did you know...

2006-10-14T22:02:00.000+10:00

An average person visits the toilet 2500 times a year. About 6-8 times a day. You spend about 3 years of your life in the toilet.
Poor toilet condition is a worldwide problem. More than half of the world population have no proper sanitation.
Suppression of urination due to dirty toilets can lead to kidney and bladder diseases. In order to avoid visting public toilets, Some people refrain from drinking and suffer dehydration.
Most toilets are designed incorrectly.
Female takes 3 times longer than male, yet both toilet sizes are often same.
Toilet remains as a 'taboo' as people are shy to discuss the subject.
There are toilet associations worldwide promoting toilet education and culture.
There are many different forms of toilets. Click here to see drawings.

Taken from www.worldtoilet.org

Brilliant!

2006-09-23T23:04:00.000+10:00

Came across a few good ones today:

Checkout http://www.dhmo.org/ >> for those who dont know, dihydrogen (meaning two hydrogen atoms), monoxide (one oxygen atom) = H2O (water)

Why Engineers Aren't Allowed to Write Cookbooks
Collect the following ingredients:
532.35 cm3 gluten
4.9 cm3 NaHCO3
4.9 cm3 refined halite
236 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride
177.45 cm3 crystalline C12H22O11
177.45 cm3 unrefined C12H22O11
4.9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde
Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated avian albumen-coated protein ovoids
473.2 cm3 theobroma cacao
236 cm3 de-encapsulated legume meats (sieve size #10)

Instructions: To a jacketed round reactor vessel (reactor #1) with an overall heat transfer coefficient of 100 Btu/F-ft2-hr, add ingredients one, two, and three with constant agitation. In a second reactor vessel with a radial flow impeller operating at 100 rpm, add ingredients four, five, six, and seven until the mixture is homogenous. To reactor #2, add ingredient eight, followed by three equal volumes of the homogenous mixture in reactor #1. Additionally, add ingredient nine and ten slowly, with constant agitation. Care must be taken at this point in the reaction to control any temperature rise that may be the result of an exothermic reaction. Using a screw extrude attached to a #4 nodulizer, place the mixture piece-meal on a 316 SS sheet (300 x 600 mm). Heat in a 460sK oven for a period of time that is in agreement with Frank & Johnston's first order rate expression (see JACOS, 21, 55), or until golden brown. Once the reaction is complete, place the sheet on a 25sC heat-transfer table, allowing the product to come to equilibrium.

Enjoy your Chocolate Chip Cookies

More Engineer Humor:
Q: How can you tell an extroverted engineer?
A: When he talks to you, he looks at your shoes instead of his own.

Q: How do you drive an engineer completely insane?
A: Tie her to a chair, stand in front of her, and fold up a road map the wrong way.

You might be an engineer if:

You take a cruise so you can go on a personal tour of the engine room.
In college, you thought Spring Break was metal fatigue failure.
The salespeople at the local computer store can't answer any of your questions.
At an air show, you know how fast the skydivers are falling.
You can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie.
You can type 70 words per minute but you can't read your own handwriting.
You sit backwards on Disney rides so you can see how they do the special effects.
You have saved every power cord from all your broken appliances.
You know what http:// stands for.
You look forward to Christmas so you can put together the kids' toys.
You see a good design, and have to change it.
You spent more on your calculator than you did on your wedding ring.
You think that people yawning around you are sleep deprived.
You window shop at Radio Shack.
You've already calculated how much you make per second.
You've tried to repair a $5 radio.

Even More Engineer Humor:
Comprehending Engineers - Take One
*************************************************
To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Comprehending Engineers-Take Two
***********************************************
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.

Comprehending Engineers-Take Three
**********************************************
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

Comprehending Engineers-Take Four
*************************************************
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet."

Comprehending Engineers-Take Five
************************************************
An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to her and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a handsome prince." She bent over, picked up the frog and put it in her pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a handsome prince, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of her pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a prince, I'll be your devoted boyfriend." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into her pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a handsome prince, and that I'll be your devoted boyfriend. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a boyfriend, but a talking frog......that's cool."

Moving to Bendigo (my blog for Sept.)

2006-09-04T17:23:00.000+10:00

Well, after a crazy week in Tasmania (which Trav or Craig can tell you all about), I've made the decision today to move back to Bendigo within 28 days.

My two housemates (who are in 2nd year aerospace) recently got awarded scholarships to go to China to study aerospace for a semester in a university over there. The Chinese semester is between mid-Sept and Dec. So, this has caused craziness about what to do with the house! The guys are coming back in Feb, and although would like to hold onto the house, would have been pricey. We looked at the idea of getting some other people to move in, but we hadn't done much on that front! There was also the issue of wot i'm doing next year - I might move elsewhere in Melb to either work or do a PhD, or perhaps go overseas for a few months... And when I'd move from the Northcote house I'm in at the moment, well, anyones guess.

But whilst in Hobart, I believe God gave me an idea: move to Bendigo. My parents are there, I already spend about 3 days a week there, and I'm only really needed in melb 2 days a week - one day for uni, and one day to work. I just figured (literally, with a calculator) that it would be cheaper to commute a few days a week from Bendigo than spend $500 a month on rent down here in Melb (that said, my Centrelink benefits decrease coz of the move). Vline has put on a new timetable with more trains that run faster (one service does Bendigo-Melb in 1hr 24 min).

So, we put in our "28 days notice" today! And I'm putting my furniture in storage ina few weeks...

It actually works out really well - mum & dad are going to Malaysia for 2 weeks on Wed, and its just after they get back that I'd need to move.

God is sooooooooooooo brilliant!

RIP Justin

2006-08-02T19:51:00.000+10:00

Have some sad news :(

Our dog, Justin, of 13 years had to be put down yesterday. For the past few months he has barely eaten a thing which led to him becoming very thin (you could feel his backbone & rib cage with no trouble at all).

Yesterday morning, dad went outside & found him shaking & almost unable to move. Previous to this, he hadn't suffered, but it was clear that his time had come.

So, mum & dad had the unfortunate task of taking him to the Vet's yesterday at 11am. The vet knew instantly that he was just too old.

He was a faithful little dog; a funny character who loved been around humans. He will be missed.

RIP Justin. 1993-2006

Musings...

2006-07-13T22:41:00.000+10:00

Hallo!

I just cant be bothered blogging about everything that happens in my life here ... otherwise I would have to clone myself.

But that prompts me to think of the about the only beneficial stuff i've done during this week of hols. I've been doing almost nothing, but have been watching some dvd's by a guy named John Bevere.

He was talking about "A Heart Ablaze". His main emphasis was the fear of the Lord (note, not been scared of God) and how that without holiness, NO ONE will see God. It was AMAZING teaching, which has some sobering outcomes - the importance of been on fire for Jesus, or else risking eternal life! How 'grace' is not the big cover up - rather its a God given ability to do what truth demands of us - to life a righteous life!

Some many Christian's get hung up on "works" - one way or the other. SOme people dont wanna touch it. Others are obsessed with it. But there is toooo much to talk about - the DVD's went for about 7 hours - If you want a copy, let me know. they dont have copyright on them ( I think!) so I could do a set for you if you wish!

God bless ya!

Luke

Yow!

2006-06-25T22:19:00.000+10:00

Well, exams finished last Monday ... quite possibly the last ever I will have to do! Exams (all 2 of them) went ok - I certainly should have had a better attitude than what I had, but they are done now.

Tuesday, had preliminary thesis presentations ... an interesting one - I might discuss more once an unfortunate incident is resolved :S

Wednesday - design team meeting. Half were asleep (or close to) in meeting (had been watching world cup)

Thursday - worked. My apparently conservative boss started playing with the evac equipment after work, and set off an alarm on a megaphone. Quite funny :D

Friday ... lazy! Woke at 1145am, went to bendigo

Saturday - Tabernacle of David - an afternoon of praise, prayer & worship to seek God. Powerful afternoon.

Sunday - church. I'm so enjoying been apart of a close-knit family of believers in Christ. It is REAL life, not dead religious nonsense!

Tomorrow...hopefully go to library in Bendigo and have lunch with my pastor.

ANyway, I am most awfully busy these holidays ... i must get back to doing nothing!

Let me know if you wanna catch up!

Luke

exam mutterings

2006-06-14T12:44:00.000+10:00

I dont want to do exam revision.

Today is Wednesday ...

Tomorrow is Thursday

Day after is Friday - structures exam

Monday - Aircraft maintnenance exam

Tuesday - thesis presentation

Wednesday - big design meeting

I JUST WANT TO HOLIDAY SOMEWHERE!

QED.

My 2nd post for June!

2006-06-08T20:44:00.000+10:00

Well, boo hoo, the antichrist didn't show his ugly face on Tuesday the 6th of June! People are soooo stupersticious (okay, i went to a state skool, so i cannt speell).

Its funny though ... God's attitude to those who would try to de-throne Him, and His Son Jesus Christ (Yeshua!)

"He who sits in the heavens shall laugh; The LORD shall hold them in derision..." Psalm 2:4

Despite the funny little tantrums of man-kind, often lead by the devil himself, God sees it as such a funny thing! GOD HAS ABSOLUTE POWER OVER HIS CREATION ... and His enemies!

The Bible describes how God stretches out the heavens like a curtain. Did you know of all the known stars, every person on earth could own over 2 trillion each? Imagine trying to stretch that out ...

Well, Tuesday - I went to Adelaide for the day! BAE Systems shouted me a free trip to SA, put on a lovely lunch, and held a useful meeting at the Adelaide convention centre. Was a nice day, apart from the fact i had to be up at 5am. But, my lecturer got me into the Qantas club going there and back, so that was nice ;)

Anyway, I must continue working on my thesis...lotsa stuff due in the next 2 weeks!

God bless you!

going to Adelaide

2006-06-01T19:51:00.000+10:00

yes folks, I've been keeping a big secret. On Tuesday, I'm going to South Aust to study...

...for about half a day ;)

Leaving Melb at 7:40am with a lecturer to have a meeting with some key people from BAE Systems who are based in SA. It relates to my thesis, and more particularly, to a potential PhD position which I may have the opportunity to take up (3 more years at uni!!!)

BAE is paying for my ticket over ... RMIT was very stingy about it. Our dept allocates $200 to every undergrad thesis, but apparently this wasn't available for travel...bleh!

I get back at about 5:15pm - just in time to head to a 1.5 hr committee meeting!

Ish gonna be a longgggggggggg dayyyyyyy!

God bless ya!

Luke

hmm...bleh...argh...grrr...mush

2006-05-30T22:58:00.000+10:00

greetings to thee all.

I speak thereforth in total gibberish coz I cannot be bothered blogging muchness. Meh, a tiring day today, so I feel rather gah-gah.

Anyone who visits this site, please leave a comment to cheer me up :D

"When are the holidays coming...?"

Ahhhh bleh...

2006-05-20T20:29:00.000+10:00

Yow!

Had an exam yesterday ... a "mid semester" exam ... it was supposed to happen in the 9th academic week of our semester. It happened in week 11. We have 12 learning weeks in the semester. Go figure!

We think it may be our lecturer is losing his marbles... we heard that students used to think he was a great lecturer!! Now, he just goes over the same stuff over and over and over and over ....

...he has received lots of feedback about the course (not much of it was positive...), yet nothing seems to change. FOr the past few weeks, he has spent the first 30 to 60min of the 6hour Friday class (yes, 6 HOURS ON A FRIDAY!!! THankfully we get a 1 hr break to try and search 4 our sanity in the caf) blabbering on about why we have to do aerospace structures, why he is the best person to teach it, why everyone else is incompetent, and why he has to hand out 6 inches of notes, of which half constitute copies of past assignment SUBMISSIONS by OTHER STUDENTS as examples (regardless if they have mistakes in them or NOT!!!!)!!!

As you can probably tell, I'm over structures ... like virtually everyone else in the class. So, Friday's exam (which was open book, we were given a list of the likely questions, which were there!) didn't do much to motivate me to study.

I took Thursday off from work (they are VERY flex about stuff, especially when it comes to uni - praise God!) and tried to spend the day studying. Well, here was the day:

9am - woke up
10am breakfast
10:30am get on the net & write & respond to literally dozens of emails which need attending to
1pm get off net. decide must do revision. but first decide to make lunch
3pm after making lunch & watching reruns of Blue Heelers, and other useless day-time TV, I go upstairs to study
3:30pm get distracted reading aviation mags
4:30pm try to update some spreadsheets with income info
5pm go to corner shop to buy chips & lollies
6pm watch news
8:30pm turn telly off after Trav calls
9:30pm get off phone to trav. call parents after a missed call from them
10:00pm start studying again. actually do something
12:20am went to bed

I normally wouldn't recommend this practise ... but Ive been doing school/uni exams for 8 years ... I'm over it!

But it looks like the mid year exams coming up WILL BE MY LAST EVER!!!

On that I bid thee all sweet dreams. Goonighevywun!

Ouch...

2006-05-09T19:18:00.000+10:00

Played laser challenge thing (Zone 3) the other day (Saturday) coz it was Kelly's 21st (http://kellystotallyblogedout.blogspot.com/) (I dunno how to do a link...)

Lots of fun ... except I didn't warm up, and now my legs are stiff as (still are today!). Tried walking up the stairs at home on Sunday night ... almost didn't make it :P

Err, had a Preliminary Design review today for uni ... went fairly well...now I am starving for food!

Man these blog things can take up sooooo much time working out how to work it :P

ummmm....

2006-05-04T22:38:00.000+10:00

After much e-abuse (okay, gentle coaxing), I am writing a follow up to my original blog ... with this useless piece of prose whilst I work out how to work this jolly system...

...that, plus a huge delay because I forgot which combination of username and password I used...finally was bothered to figure it out.

Worked today at GKN - saw the funniest thing! All the lead-team managers dressed up in the most hiddeous wigs for charity. By very conservative boss was adorned in long red hair, whilst the MD and my previous boss were fashionably attired in some other rediculous hair piece. Wish I could have taken a photo, but one has to get a form signed before taking a shot at work ... such is the life of a defence contractor!

Well, if I can get a hold of the 'official' pici's I will try and load them on ... but dont hold your breath...me and modern technology eh?!? ... I feel old already...

God bless!

Welcome Aboard...

2006-04-22T23:21:00.000+10:00

A fine congratulations to one of my good friends who suggested this bold venture to me. Trav, who shall remain anonomyous, has been the source of this major innovation!

That's all I can think of saying...

Goodnight'n'havagoowegend

"I'm afraid Sir Frank is in an even worse position of understanding how the economy works ... he's an economist."